The subject of beauty is an uncomfortable one for me. Why?
Because I have so often let the world dictate my view of beauty and it distorts how I see myself as I turn my focus on all the things that I dislike about my appearance.
I’ll make derogatory comments about myself (skin, hair, size, etc.).
I’ll avoid clothes shopping.
I’ll turn down invitations to things that require too much finery.
I’ll dread attending those things I commit to doing. Ugh! What to wear?!
I’ll apologize to my husband for “letting myself go”.
And you know something?
I am so tired of it.
My concept of my own beauty has become a beast!
This beast thrives on bringing me down so I am incapacitated in the moment or for a day or longer.
This beast wants me to compare myself to others the world says should be my beauty standard.
This beast is vain and when I buy into the lies, I am too.
This beast makes me self-absorbed.
This beast is far from beautiful.
Somewhere along the way I got this notion that my being lovely and being beautiful is pleasing to God. On those days when the beast gets in my mind and distorts my view of beauty it is not lovely as I struggle to come out of the wrong thinking.
I know in my mind and in my heart that God is concerned with what’s on the inside rather than the outside. My heart being in tune with His is right. I’ll never be able to compete with the world’s standard.
Age is working against my looking like I did when I was 22.