31 Days of Simple Goodness: Seasoned Mothering

Posted by on Oct 23, 2012 in Blog Posts | 2 comments

If there’s one thing I take great joy in talking and writing about it’s being the mom of boys, now men (one who’s married and one who’s in college).  They made mothering a tremendous blessing for me when they were home. 

Adjusting to the emptying nest has been rather interesting and at times a bit depressing as I have occasions to evaluate my place in our family now that babies are grown and gone and my “career” responsibilities have shifted and I’ve been “let go” of some.

When we mother adult children, we celebrate their independence.

Oh, but it’s a good thing.  It’s the way things in “the motherhood” should go down.

After all, I believe our purpose as moms is to put ourselves 
out of a job.

That’s right. Say it out loud, letting it fill the empty air in the room.  Let it rest there in the silence. Grab a tissue as it sets in.  Shed tears of goodness amidst the ones of sadness.  This day comes and it is a good day for you and for your wee bairns.

Sure, we’ll always be needed for one reason or another, but at some point, we aren’t needed in the same capacity and we need to know that and be thankful. We put on our cute shoes and transition into a new role as moms of adult “kids” as we no longer need our combat boots for fighting battles on the homefront or tennis shoes for keeping up with the kids in quite the same capacity anymore.  There comes a time where we can actually walk behind them at some distance on a busy city street not worrying about their safety. 

As we raise our young children in godly environments preparing them to be responsible God-fearing adults who have strong work ethics and good social skills we eventually shift our focus from mothering that blends healthy nurturing, advising, teaching, and disciplining to mothering another adult. It is different.

Mothering adult children still involves nurturing with input (when sought), dialogue, and imparts truth without hurt if our wishes are not followed.  We share our dreams, hopes, and wishes with each other in healthy conversation.

We want those apron strings cut as much as they do after the newness of adjusting to a new style of parenting sets in and we establish healthy boundaries that bless each other.  We want relationship but now we are all adults and it’s different than when they were little.

The pressure to turn out responsible God-fearing well-adjusted children is gone.  

I have also come to realize that the biggest blessing of parenting adult children for me 
is that I have been blessed to shift 
from being a mother in charge of helping develop my children’s spiritual well-being 
to being their sister in Christ foremost. 
I’ve gone from mom to sister.

I have understood this more and more, especially as our oldest son graduated from college, married, and bought a home in the past couple of years.

It is while they are under our roofs and leaning on our influence in those critical developmental years that our mothering is most important.  If we’re doing it well, we will impart godly character traits in them that will carry them through long after we are gone from this earth.

If we lead them to Jesus in teaching them about Him and guiding them as to how to answer His call to follow Him, we begin this transition from being a mother by blood or adoption to being their sister by the blood of Jesus.

Sweet younger mom amidst diapers or toddlers or teens, that should give you hope and joy as you contemplate that shift to come in your own life with your children if it hasn’t happened yet. 

The work of mothering is not easy in any of the seasons.  Each season offers its own challenges, but by the grace of God we will mother to God’s glory and find our proper place in our children’s lives where we become equal and the company of one another is adult child of God blessing another adult child of God regardless of who has seniority in age.  Each season has its unique rewards, too.

Simply said, mothering in all the seasons offers goodness in new and fresh ways if we are willing to move ourselves along out of the old and into the new dynamic.

2 Comments

  1. Amy, I enjoyed reading this post. I am not to this point yet, actually have many years to go for my youngest..but it really gave me something to think about about I travel through each season of mothering. I hope you are well.

    • Hey Christy! I’m delighted to get your feedback here! : ). I’m praying for you to see glimpses of delight as God does His work in your life as a mom. He’s got a wonderful daughter in you in your home who delights in Him.

      Delight is the word that keeps popping up! Wow!

      Hug yourself!

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