I am not even going to try to hide this giant. It wants me to hide him because it is the giant of concealment. Now that it’s out in the open, allow me to share with you some of his tactics:
- it makes you so afraid that your child’s book report, science project, or term paper is such a dud that you end up doing said report, project, or paper for your child. This giant ends up making your child grow lazy and co-dependent on your skills as a student. She also ends up thinking you think her efforts are pathetic and an embarrassment to you.
- if your child does something wrong and gets caught, this giant causes you to take such a strong stand of defense for your child’s wrongful behavior that you could beat the best of the bunch on Law and Order. It makes you show up at school and chew out the teacher for embarrassing your child in front of the other children when all the teacher did was ask your son to walk in the line with the class to the lunchroom. It causes you to march into the principal’s office and demand a formal apology from the teacher to your child.
- this one has a way of turning you into a manipulator of circumstances. You might see yourself being your own child’s PR agent for making the team, being a starter for the team, and offering tips to the head coach on how to call the plays so your child can get more playing time. Your mantra is, “Worthy is my child!” Doesn’t sound like concealment? Well, it is. In this instance, the parent is concealing his or her embarrassment for their child not being noticed by taking steps to make sure he or she gets noticed. It’s a kind of advance prep just in case you may be in a situation that has the potential for embarrassment based on your child’s lack of recognition.
Did you notice the key word in all three? Embarrassment. Specifically, this giant forces you to behave in a way that you think will cover up any embarrassment or ward off potential embarrassment. Concealing and denial are the paths that we travel down if we see it coming, all in an effort to “save face”. This is the very foundation of unhealthy pride. Yet, the irony of all this is that when a parent falls into the trap of such concealing and denying behaviors, it’s an embarrassment to them anyway. They may not see it. This giant has a way of concealing reality.
It can also affect the relationship with the child. The child may learn that it’s okay to misbehave because mom is going to come to their defense anyway, no matter what. Therefore, they think they can do no wrong. Or, it can embarrass the child tremendously and cause them to withdraw out of fear that his parent is going to do or say something that will make others not like his parent and ultimately, him.
Referring back to the verse at the top, we parents need to be truthful and to teach our children truth. When they are rightfully accused of a wrong, we need to love them, but not allow them to miss the opportunities for consequences for such. To defend them from such is to do a disservice to them. It also teaches them to lie. Ultimately, God sees the truth in every situation. He sees our embarrassment and the way that prompts us to lose control as a parent. The giant of concealment is not hidden from God. We can blame this giant all day long, but we caved into its influence and fell for its lies. We need truth in our innermost parts so we can teach our children by word and deed. After all, if we are parenting to please God, then we will desire what He does: truth in our inner being that manifests itself in our daily lives as parents.
I leave you with Hebrews 4:13, that says, “And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.” (NASB)