HaPpY bIrThDaY to mE!

Posted by on Dec 31, 2011 in Blog Posts | 9 comments

Last year’s birthday photo

You may be preparing for tonight’s celebration of ringing in a new year.  However, don’t miss out on the more important news and celebration.

Today is my birthday!  Yea!  I am 48 today.  

I have to write out that number lest I forget.  There was my birthday somewhere in the 30s when I thought I was older for most of the year than I actually was.  I kind of wanted to go backwards on the next birthday and for the rest of that year be the year younger that I missed out on.  But alas, my wisdom took over and I decided that would only serve to mess with my mental abilities that were, apparently, already somewhat impaired.  Sigh.

Last year’s birthday was a downer.  Let me just say it, okay?!

It was a year ago, when we should have been celebrating a “more birthdays” day (thanks to being healed of cancer that year) that my husband and I drove to his now former workplace of 26+ years to turn in his signed agreement for all the glorious rights and privileges of being “let go”.  Thanks Synovus.  You’ve not been a friend.  His former co-worker met us at the car in front of the riverside building where Rob handed him the packet and turned in his key.  Rob would confess that was a most humiliating experience.

Do I sound cynical and bitter?  I am a little bit.  Even a year later. 

After all, if you mess with my man’s psyche, you mess with my heart and I can’t stand it.

After turning in his papers, the two of us went for the noonday New Year’s Eve service at our church.  I needed to go, obviously I still need to go and repent, repent, and repent again of my heart’s hurt and attitude.

We were two of a handful of non-clergy members attending that day and as soon as the service began and a poignant solo sung, the waterworks began and I cried, nay I BAWLED, sobbed, had tons of lovely stuff pouring from my nose the rest of the hour’s service.  It was the most cathartic service I’ve attended.  Fortunately, the staff knew what the year had been like for us already.  I think they thought I was crying over cancer.  They would find out that day that my tears were for yet another loss in our life.

Suffice it to say that by the service’s end, all my make-up was gone, my eyes were puffy/swollen/red, my heart was broken, and yet I was hungry enough to meet our children at Dinglewood for a hot dog.  I was going to drown my sorrow in a diet coke and a scrambled dog.  Mmmmmmm!  Sounds good right now.

One look at their mom, and my sweet young men sons knew enough to not ask, “So Mom, why the red nose and bloodshot eyes?”  They’re tender-hearted, praise God.

After lunch, Rob took me to a local shoe store and bought me some Frye boots.  I wanted them because the Pioneer Woman has them and I want to be like her living on a ranch, feeding my large family home-grown animals and vegetables, and being a creative and successful blogger.  Instead, I just wear her boots and watch her show on the occasional Saturday.  My blog?  Well…

When we returned home, the answering machine was blinking and I pressed “play”.  It was my parents and they sang,  “Happy Birthday,” to me over the phone.  I saved that message.  It’s still on my machine.  It touched my heart greatly.  My dad has a form of cognitive impairment and through some wonderful medication, we see him coming out of his personal solitude of quietness and coming back to us in small ways.  This was one such moment.  So, I saved it as a reminder of God’s goodness on not the best of days.  I play it back from time to time and tear up again.

After that, I desired (yet another good and miraculous thing) to have my picture taken with my family to remember I was celebrating a birthday after cancer.  That’s what the picture up there is from.  I look a little different this year with more and curly hair.

And so, here I am a year later.
  • There is no noontime service this year.
  • My husband signed on with TSYS, an international company that is headquartered here.
  • We didn’t have to move away from our hometown, but we do have to sell our house.
  • My birthday lunch will be at Cafe LeRue, and if they are closed, I’m heading to Dinglewood or Don Chucho’s (my favOrite Mexican restaurant).
  • I may hit the shoe store again.  I think that should become an annual birthday bonus event, don’t you?
  • Synovus is still battling, but I pray they are on the mend.  I truly pray that.
The bottom-line lessons for encouraging myself and you as I remind us about God’s sovereignty?
  • God is in control of job losses, job gains, and houses selling.
  • He knows where we will live next (and He is powerful enough to work it out so we don’t have to move if He wills it).
  • His plan is way better than the best case scenario my small mind can conjure.
  • He knows how old I am even when I forget.
  • He knows the number of hairs on my head and this year, I have a whole heap more than I did this day a year ago.
I am thankful for:
  • God’s goodness and faithfulness, His healing
  • His provision at all times
  • TSYS and Synovus
  • our home, no matter the address
  • the prospect of downsizing to simplify life
  • still being able to be a stay-at-home wife
  • friends and family who continue to pray for us
  • the blessing of a daughter-in-law (May 21 is when our oldest son married)
  • a good second year of college for our youngest son
  • continued good reports when I have labs taken to check cancer markers
  • you stopping by to read today’s post.

Happy new year!  May 2012 be filled with lots of opportunities for us to praise God at all times and in all ways.

Encouragement:

See the list above.

Opportunity for Response:

Where do you desire God to move in your life in 2012?  Leave a response, please?!

9 Comments

  1. Happy, Happy Birthday sweet girl and dear friend. Even though our paths do not cross as often as i would like, you are always in my heart and in my prayers. So thankful God chosse to heal your body of cancer (and my sweet husband’s too).
    Thank you for your blogs and for sharing what God has taught you to share with many of us.
    Love, Karen

  2. Thanks for another awesome post, it made me shed a few tears. Your honesty is moving, I hope to continue learning more about God, take better care of family and myself. Be a kinder, gentler Katherine in 2012! Happy Birthday again! Katherine

  3. God bless you, Amy! Like you said…he has it all figured out! <3

  4. God bless you, Amy! Like you said…he has it all figured out! <3

  5. Thanks for your encouraging comments today. I’m glad you stopped in to read today’s post. Happy new year!

  6. Happy New Year Amy and Happy Birthday! I am so thankful God brought you into my life. You are such an inspiration and wonderful friend.

  7. Thank you Brooke. I am thankful He has let our paths cross!

  8. I’d like for God to move in my life according to His purpose, that I will seek and see His face more fully every day and be obedient to His will in my life.

  9. Lou Anne,
    I’ll be praying that for you! Thank you for sharing.

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