|Me and my new “do”.|
I knew this day would come. I had many who were convinced that my body would not succumb to this particular side effect of Taxol and Carboplatin, my chemo regimen for the next few months. I have had three treatments in the past three weeks and have felt great except for that one day of fatigue last week, but I am NOT complaining. Seriously.
Yesterday’s beauty routine took a bit longer. My brushes were filling up with way more hair than usual. I figured my body was succumbing after all to this side effect. But, I have been prepared, somewhat. I have a new do that I can take off and on as I please. I have named it “Delilah” although this Delilah has not robbed me of my strength like Samson’s did. This Delilah helps me to help others with whom I come in contact to not be too distracted. She strengthens us all a bit from the uncomfortableness of hair loss.
Today, as I awoke I still questioned if it was time to really do this major thing…having my head shaved… and as I showered and combed my wet hair I realized that today had to be the last time I would actually wash and dry it, but only for a few months. As I exited the shower I grabbed my shampoo and conditioner and replaced them with scalp cleanser. That has eliminated excess stuff on that shelf and it already looks nicer. I grabbed some kleenex and swabbed up the excess hair that had fallen to the floor of the shower and realized three swipes were still not enough to grab it all. Ew.
My reality was confirmed as I combed through and tried to dry hair that was blowing away. It was rather humorous and sad all at the same time. Rather odd and coincidental things have happened the last seven days. My hairdryer (the most expensive one I’ve ever owned) has quit drying on the high heat setting. That is no good for styling hair. So, it is now in the trashcan since I won’t be needing it. That frees up some space in that drawer for some of Delilah’s needs (her comb and her brush are all she needs). Also, my favorite shampoo and conditioner had run out two weeks ago and I had been using up all my travel shampoos, which have almost run out.
As I sit here typing, I can feel the occasional hair fall against my neck. Weird.
So, what are the blessings in this? There are some:
- I won’t have a bad hair day this summer or fall! That’s right! I won’t have to worry about frizz OR flatness! Delilah is synthetic. (Be careful around the oven or stove!) The two of us are going to have to get acquainted and she is going to have to bend to my will, or I to hers.
- I will swim and not worry about having to refix my coiff. (Note to self, get a swim cap.)
- My morning beauty routine will “shave off” at least 30 minutes with the help of Delilah, I hope at least, once we get adjusted to each other.
- I will save money by not getting trims and highlights and hair care products.
- I will save money on electricity that was used on that failing hairdryer and functioning flat iron.
It was as if God confirmed my questioning of the timing of all this even after I had swept up more hair from the floor, cleaned the brushes and swabbed the sink (four times!). I was taking Beans for a nail trim. I can’t get scrapes and cuts right now, so she has to do her part to see to it that she’s not at fault for either of those. Anyway, as we were leaving the neighborhood, at the entrance are these beautiful cherry trees that have been radiant and full of pink blossoms! The sight takes my breath away every time I drive in or out of the neighborhood this time of year. Today, as I drove through the entrance, a shower of pink blossoms was raining down as the trees were losing their glory of pink petals. I thought it rather fitting that God should align my hair falling with those pink petals falling, too. Beans took note then laid herself down on the seat and stared at me all the way to the vet’s office.
And so, here I am. I find myself confident in God and at the same time somewhat exposed. I was way more confident about this day coming and moving through it three weeks ago than I am today. But, I will get through it.
And, this time next year, when those cherry trees are filled with pink-petaled blossoms, I’ll have my own hair back on my head and I will stand under the falling blossoms and smile at God’s goodness with my hands raised to Him!
It’s just hair, Amy. It’s just hair.
So, where do I draw MY strength? It’s not from having my own hair beautifully styled. Nope. My strength comes from God Who has reminded me today of this passage in Luke 12:4-8.