“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9 (NASB)
I am a planner. I used to be better at it. I have been known to be obsessed with it. By obsessed I mean that I would think through the what-ifs of the various scenarios and have a plan in place to cover my bases. If something were to happen for which I was not prepared, oh dear, how devastated I could get for not being ready for the unexpected.
I think planning ahead and all that is good. Going over the top with it? Not so much. Why? I have learned that there are just some things that I cannot plan for and that if I try to plan through to my personal best will lead to frustration for me and those enduring my futile attempt at perfectionism. I think about the one or two camping trips our family has taken and the amount of “what if” stuff I took and never needed. BUT, had we needed it, I would have been prepared! Aaaaah.
Perhaps that is what being a control freak is all about? Yes.
In yesterday’s post I briefly (yes, it was brief compared to all I could have said) commented on emptying my desk drawers of unnecessary papers. I saw evidence of tangible reminders of ways I have tried to control various areas of my life.
It amazes me what God taught me in the moments of cleaning out one desk in the kitchen. God is showing me one more thing:
Amy, you can plan, plan, plan, all you want. But, ultimately, God has a divine path for you to follow and for which you cannot plan or control, because…He is in control.
I like calendars and have searched 24 years to find the “perfect” one to help me stay organized and well-planned. I finally found one just for this year that I have so enjoyed using. It’s not bulky, it has the week’s calendar on one side and a lined page facing it. It secures with a black elastic strap. It’s small enough (and not bulky at all) to fit in my purse and even has a pocket in the back for storing small treasures. I was so excited when I found it and looked forward to planning all kinds of wonderful things that would fill its pages. I knew God would bring me good things to enjoy throughout the coming year that I could look back on with fond memories over the good times written within its pages as events would come and then go.
Funny how things happen, huh?
All things considered, I know this calendar will be a wonderful one. Within its pages will be accounts of numerous doctors’ visits, scans, tests, mammograms, chemo appointments, surgery date(s?), and radiation appointments that will all remind me of God’s faithfulness and healing. All were things I could not have dreamed were going to fill in the blank spaces of my new calendar.
I didn’t plan for them. I could not have known.
Also in this calendar are the birthdays of family and friends that I wrote on their right spots on my birthday (seems to be a yearly habit), David’s graduation, the boys’ off-to-school move-in dates, mine and Rob’s 24th anniversary, the Bible studies’ dates with lunches and dinner written in. These were all dates of things I anticipated and some of which I planned. I planned. I planned.
And so, with some emotions, I am learning how important it is to give up the baggage of planning ahead to the degree I have attempted all my life.
I am back in school and the divine Teacher has just handed me His syllabus for the year so I’ll know what to expect and know all my due dates.
All it says is, “Teacher – Jesus Christ. Assignment to be given one day at a time. Today’s assignment – Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”