The Lettermen Were Wrong

Posted by on Jun 8, 2011 in Blog Posts | 1 comment

Dear Sigourney,

Wouldn’t you know that after I posted yesterday about avoiding “Clyde” and “Earl”, I succumbed and hurled a whopper to your paw-in-law last night?  Ugh.

Back in 1971, The Lettermen sang a song called, “Love Means (You Never Have to Say You’re Sorry)”.  Well, it’s not true.  I had to say it last night after I made the snide remark to my own husband that he has an aversion to replacing the toilet paper on the roll holder in our bathroom.  It wasn’t a quick spontaneous hurl, but a premeditated one.  I worked it into our pleasant after dinner conversation on my way out of the room.  Rude!  Poor guy.

Somehow, I believe in the garden (as in The Garden of Eden), “I’m sorry” has gotten choked by the weeds of pride and become a horribly difficult thing to say to one whom we have offended.  In marriage, on numerous occasions, you two will have opportunities to speak those words to each other.  Will you?  Will they be sincere?

Early in our marriage, I offended Rob.  I know that may come as a surprise to you, but having opened today’s letter with the confession of last night’s rude utterance, you now know I am capable of speaking harsh words.  Sigh.

Anyway, Rob told me I owed him an apology.  Well, that hurt.  It was true, but it hurt my pride nonetheless. 

So, I mustered up my courage and had almost swallowed my pride and said, “I’m sorry (downcast look, Eeyore voice)………….(quick look up as I continued in Tigger fashion) YOU don’t understand what I was saying.”  No, I’m not kidding.  I really said something as immature and selfish as that. 

That is a lesson in how NOT to apologize.

I should have said sincerely, “I’m sorry.  I should not have been rude to you in my words.  Will you forgive me?” 

I’m sure he would have responded, “Why yes, wife of my youth, beloved soulmate, keeper of our home!  I forgive you!  I was a fool to be offended by your words of honesty toward me.  Nay, can YOU forgive ME!?”  Then, he would swing me up onto the saddle as we go galloping off into the ocean along the beach of Carmel. 

Oops, sorry, I was imagining a Harlequin romance novel.

I think you get my point even in all my nervous silliness over this touchy subject.

When we offend our husbands (and anyone else), we should seek their forgiveness in a sincere way because that is what Jesus teaches us to do.  He’s our ultimate example in the how-to.


One Comment

  1. Amy and Sigourney, this post struck a cord with me. Yes, my husband has the problem (of course, he doesn’t see it as a problem) of not replacing the toilet tissue on the roll. However, this has gotten alot more serious. He doesn’t know how to replace rolls in any part of the house. After reading this post, I am concerned that it may be a univesal problem. As for our sincerely apologizing, this reminded me also of a friend whose apology consists of “I am sorry you misunderstood what I said.” Of course, I never insinuate that with catty comments. (My nose is growing….) Grace and peace!

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