You Helped Me to Lay Down My Idol

Posted by on Feb 7, 2014 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

Love Letter 4

Love Letter 4

Dear God,

Thank you for helping me lay down my idol. I love your word, but I must confess that reading it had grown rather stale for me.

My reading was for the purpose of lesson preparation, answering questions on a sheet of paper, and checking off the list of “good” teacher activity.

I had even gone so far as to want more leadership responsibility within a ministry of great importance in my life and I had pursued it. The opportunity was in my lap.

But then your Spirit told mine to take a step back and evaluate prayerfully because not much prayerful seeking of you had gone before this. I had pursued. I had wanted. I, I, I, oh me, oh my…Goodness gracious!

My soul resisted you with questioning thoughts:

  • What about those people who had encouraged me to take this step and who had assisted my getting there? Wouldn’t they be upset with me?
  • What about those ladies who faithfully come to class each week, lessons ready for discussion? Who would lead the remainder of the four-part study? What would they think of me?
  • How do I even read the Bible for a restoration of joy in my salvation with a devotional, meditative mindset? Won’t that take forever?
  • How do I erase years of reading for lesson prep and just glean in the field of your word, gathering crumbs for sustenance? I’m accustomed to putting a puzzle together, piece by piece, and reading in a new way goes against my grain.
  • Should I get a new Bible with none of my margin notes so I can read it fresh? Should I get one with commentary or not?

In your way of speaking to me, I gained such clarity within a short amount of time…

once I let go of my concerns about what others would think,

and only put stock in what I heard your Spirit communicating to mine.

You know it wasn’t easy once I was on the same page with you. My flesh resisted as others would look at me with a mix of frustration and confusion over my not taking that position and stepping down from leading a Bible study. I think they thought I was on my way to hell, a pure backslider. I can’t blame them. My new leaf was confusing and not at all in keeping with my pursuit for fame and glory.

But you took care of all my concerns.

You have given me desire to just be with you for a while. My spirit, soul, and body are so content with that lot you have cast for me…it is pleasant, these boundary lines you’ve drawn for me. Psalm 16 has been my food lately. I am enjoying mining the depths of riches in it. Psalm 119 has rejuvenated my appreciation for your word. You, yourself have taught me, Lord…the Psalmist says in Psalm 119:102.

So, I thank you for guiding me through the process of laying down an idol in my life and taking time to be still with you for however long it takes until you’re ready to put me out there again. If you choose for me to do it, I will do it, but I really want to be sure it is of you and not my own motives.

“Be still, and know that I am God,” you say.

I love you,

Amy

 

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