Some of you may be able to spot a diva from a mile away. Others may be clueless as to what a diva even is. This post has come about because of yesterday’s comment about my experience at the YMCA waiting for the elliptical machine. That’s when I knew I was a diva.
Here’s the definition of a “diva” from Dictionary.com: “a distinguished female singer; a prima dona.”
Okay, admittedly, I do not like that definition. I am more of an extinguished female singer; and what is a prima dona?
Definition of “prima dona” from the same source: “principal female performer.”
Well, forget the diva thing.
Let’s change it to this fill-in-the-blank style of test instead.
You know you are spoiled if/when…
1. You don’t like the definition of “diva” because you can’t sing and you thought you were a diva before you checked the definition and the reality set in.
2. You wait in the line at the gym, like a good rule-keeping girl neglecting, however, to sign in for the particular machine you MUST have, only to be “jumped in line” by the skinny woman who doesn’t need the machine but who also remembered to sign in for it and is now sanitizing it while the older man is winding down his cool down on said machine. You turn on your heels, let out a huff, and tear up on your way to the car hating all skinny women who should be running instead of using your elliptical.
3. The one time you have ever gotten pulled over for speeding, you beg the female officer to not give you a ticket because your car stinks from delivering turnips and fish to Meals on Wheels people and you were in a hurry to get those smelly hot boxes back to the headquarters. After all, you were doing a good deed, for goodness’ sake! (She gave the ticket anyway saying it was probably not the first time you had sped, just the first time you had been caught.) Ouch.
4. You ask someone else to notice your wrinkles (crows’ feet) but stretch your eyes wide open so the wrinkles disappear…all in an effort to be told you don’t have wrinkles.
5. Confidently adopting a new style, like wearing hats, you realize that having just one will not be enough and you proceed to make it your ambition to find more to go with several outfits. While shopping for said hats, you worry that others may begin to emulate your new trend and hope that the shop won’t reorder them. You also let your knitting sister know your knitted hat needs and insist that she constantly knit on your behalf.
6. You order expensive embossed notecards with your monogram and still go to Target to buy less expensive ones vowing to use your nicest ones for only special occasion correspondence needs. This happened to begin with because upon ordering the expensive ones, you were ignorant of their cost and when the clerk filled out the order form and rang up your order, you just didn’t have the heart to cancel it. Your reputation was at stake.
7. When dining with friends your salad has so much refuse in it, that you have more salad piled up outside the bowl than in it. After all, you are paying a good price for lettuce and a few colorful items donning it. You deserve the best lettuce, especially if that’s your main source of nourishment in that hour. (I really don’t think that makes you spoiled. However, the way you handle it with the restaurant can leave the impression that you just might be…). Invariably, when this happens, you wish you had stopped at Publix and picked up a fresh head of romaine to chop yourself and use at the restaurant. I mean, is it really that hard to get good lettuce that is not slimy, bruised, wilted, or frozen in spots to a translucent state? Ugh!
8. When you get a new fragrance to wear, you don’t want to share the name with others because you don’t want them to smell as pretty as you do. So, you feign ignorance of the name. I almost deleted this one because I have done this a lot and some of you reading this have been on the receiving end of it. Okay? It was Prada, but I can’t think of which one…
9. If saying, “I’m sorry,” with sincerity is really difficult.
10. If you like to write a blog about how others can identify if they are spoiled without admitting that you have been guilty of all the above identifiers.
Whew! Since I owned up to it all, I guess I’m not spoiled.
11. You have a hard time admitting your own flaws…